THE CRIME AGAINST THE WOOD
On February 26, 2008, Conan O’Brien invited a martial arts master, Fred Simmons, onto his late night show. During a martial arts exhibition, Conan watched with unchecked glee as Fred Simmons’ group smashed some wooden boards. On the broadcast, viewers only saw a few pieces of wooden being broken. However, after the taping of that night’s show was complete, Conan kept Mr. Simmons in the studio and forced him to break untold pieces of wood all through the night.
By sunrise, the TV studio floor was littered with the broken pieces and splinters of shattered pieces of wood. We believe at this point in time an honorable man like martial arts master Fred Simmons would have broken down in tears at what he had done. And he would have also completely turned his life around and dedicated himself to helping wood where ever and whenever he can.
What about Conan O’Brien? Did he repent? Did he atone for his crimes and undergo rehabilitation? Of course not. He has relentlessly pursued an anti-wood agenda his whole career and in the video below you can see where it might all have started.
The video below starts right at the point where Conan O’Brien’s anti-wood crime spree begins. You could watch the whole segment from the start, but do you really want to expose yourself to unnecessary Conan?
Martial arts master Fred Simmons had only planned on breaking a few pieces of wooden in his martial arts demonstration, but he made the tragic mistake of associating with Conan O’Brien, whose hatred of all things wood is legendary.
WU D3 TREE has made it our mission to educate the world about the dark dank pit that is the anti-wood soul of Conan O’Brien. We wrote a song on our latest album about the Conan / martial arts terrifying incident and we also made an educational music video about it that you further down this page.
If by chance you cross paths with Conan please take care of any wood you may have in your possession. If, for example, you happen to be walking down a Hollywood sidewalk carrying a piece of lumber, and Conan spots you, he will do everything in his power to take that lumber from you and smash it into toothpicks. Please lobby your government to take all necessary action to protect the wood of the world from Conan O’Brien.
Our music video
WU D3 TREE refuse to stand by and let Conan’s crimes to unanswered. That is why on our debut album we wrote a song called “CONAN NEEDS A BAN” and wrote a music video to educate the world about this wood-hating demon.