Scroll down to see all the lyrics from our first album!
1. BOYS FROM THE WOODS
Chopped sawed cut planed sanded lumber but
Still rough hope Hip hop frees us c’mon Grandpa set it set it set it set it off
MC Thin Lignin. I’m not a philosopher but I think very deeply
MC Big O Dendro. Yo Gs toddler with a goatee
I’m DJ Jebediah Ironwood. We are WU D3 TREE
Yo these Gs got plans and a mission
But it’s secret we’ve got mysterious ambitions
We’re writing and recording at our grandparent’s house
Working quietly like a secret ninja mouse
Shhh
Crafting beats and pretty dope rhymes
Because our parents working lotta overtime
If we can bring in a little cash money bread
They can work less and spend time at home instead
It’s not a big goal perhaps I suppose
But maybe someday our parents can say adios
To their stingy bosses and low-paying jobs
And Big wants to become a hip-hop heartthrob
Hey ladies
A cupid in low-riding diapers? Good luck with that.
But my own love life is non-existent
If I graph it there’s no traffic – it’s a flatline trend
Thin Lignin you stay on topic or this verse will end in a dead end
Wu D3 Tree!
Wu D3 Tree!
Forest to your hood!
Boys from the woods!
Wicky wicky wack a rap ratatattat -yeah!
Grandpa’s getting down!
Well of course I’m getting down. I’m the DJ. What else am I supposed to do?
Feast your eyes on a plank paradigm
This toddler sliding time around rhythms and rhymes
Pronunciation issues but yo check out my throat
Vocal cord’s the same stuff as your kitchen cutting board
Alleged diaper rash no matter suckas still scatter
Terrified of a WU D lyric navigator
Rhymes got more groove than a sacroiliac
Who askin if Big’s bars a bit whack?
Me?
Thin step off stop stealing my thunder
I run this from T.O. to Townsville, down under
Bro you older and taller but I’m harder than mahogany
Chuck eventually call me your majesty
Yo Big you sounding a teeny bit delusional
PE and Mr D are royalty be sensible
We’re in the ring we need bravado and big boy swagger
You keep your deep philosophies I’m a verbal boxer
Wu D3 Tree!
Wu D3 Tree!
Forest to your hood!
Boys from the woods!
Difficult transition from our forest home
Getting adjusted to this hip hop biome
And this human technology is awfully confusing
This morning I learned what a VCR is
It’s not for toasting bread – and jam is sticky
The swimming pool’s so small – It’s tricky!
Some of those people on the streets are quite Slick
Rick rolls get you in foxholes / Time for some toddler tricks
Yo I’ll take it from here my older mon frere
It’s rough out there can’t be soft camembert
We gotta collect cheese without getting squeezed
This petite goateed MC never retreat
We only got one shot at this here rap biz
Twice in a lifetime is too complicated
Thin studies ancient texts to deal with his doubts
I prefer Kool Mo Dee’s philosophy- How Ya like Wu D 3 Tree now?
2. PROTECT YOUR DECK
So we finally meet face to face, Master Big O Dendro.
Your kung fu is weak and malignant. And your punches are softer than monkey buttocks!
My innards grow queasy at your words and the sight of your deck.
You dare malign my deck! The stench of your words disgusts three generations of my ancestors!
Will you two settle down?
Seasons changing people saying
You are tripping you are slipping
Wind is blowing sun rain snowing
Eating away the protective coating
Your deck is under constant threat
Termites elements squirrels you bet
Wood deck needs pristine condition
You got summer barbecue ambitions
Spring and summer fall and winter
Check your deck for rot and splinters
Watch for carpenter ants and beetles
You want to impress local tradespeople
Need gear and attitude right methods man
Come correct with a ninja headband
Study all those samurai ukiyoe
Martial arts moves scare crows away
Protect your deck or one day you’ll see
Inspect your deck or you’ll face tragedy
Protect your deck or one day you’ll see
Inspect your deck or you’ll face tragedy
I see only weakness before me. Who would join your martial arts clan?
My deck wisdom is polished and gleams even in the darkness of the night. Humph!
MC Big’s full of Brobdingnagian bluster
My advice composed and cool don’t get flustered
Protect your deck is a calm mental state
Aggression and anger you must regulate
Deck you protect with technique and science
Not Big’s belligerent bellicose defiance
Walk the planks and study the conditions
Meditate on appropriate solutions
Check pressure washer PSI
Slow and careful Japanese bonsai
Deck stain or deck oil apply with care
Choose better than Tartuff’s Orgon – holy Moliere
Walk the beat like a London Bobby
Digital analysis may be necessary
Watch for seasonal home center sales
Overpay leave you Ghostface pale
Inspect all decks!
Pokechus decks
Magic archtype decks!
Aircraft carrier decks? I guess
Protect your deck or one day you’ll see
Inspect your deck or you’ll face tragedy
Protect your deck or one day you’ll see
Inspect your deck or you’ll face tragedy
You must relent! Behold the power of the sword of the crystal dragon!
I relent nothing! I wield the sword of the – um –, splendid starfish. Oh no no ah actually, the sword of the excellent eggplant. Oh..
Thin has ideas and philosophies
But protect your deck demands ferocity
Deck enemies relentless you must show and prove
Kung Fu masters teach you all the moves
Shaw Brothers Golden Harvest it’s time to hurry
Grab their VHS tapes with fists of fury
Learn the forms dragon, tiger, leopard, snake, crane,
Train, train, train lunchtime kung pao chicken chow mein
Forgot egg rolls again
Karate, muay thai, Kung fu, taekwondo
Study deck skirmishes Saskatoon to Singapore
Ip Man level knowledge make you strong
But Shaolin monks know the real master is Mok Yang Chung
Protect your deck through space and time
Trace the roots of ancient bloodlines
Neighbours dis your deck they pay the price
Barbeque time you show them WU D3 TREE ultimate deck paradise
3. I WANT TO SEE A KANGAROO
I want to see a kangaroo
Hurry up and finish your food.
I am quite keen on seeing an osphranter rufus – a type of kangaroo.
You’re spilling your soup
Grandpa take us to the zoo!
It closed – not enough revenue.
Then I know what we should all do!
I need to go take a …
Oh Grandpa!
Let’s go do something really really fun
Let’s take a trip ’n enjoy the Aussie Aussie sun
Let’s go do something really really fun
Let’s take a trip ’n enjoy the Aussie Aussie sun
Look over there! Spaghetti on toast!
And over there! Vegemite!
I see a wombat!
Hey look – over there behind that tree!
A Spaghetti on toast Vegemite wombat! Crikey!
Crikey!
I want a koala plushie
Oh. Really.
I want to learn about Australian trees
Keep your distance please.
I want to see a game of cricket!
How are you going to pay for a ticket?
I want to visit Sydney and perhaps Melbourne.
It’s pronounced Melbin I’ve been told.
Let’s go do something really really fun
Let’s take a trip ’n enjoy the Aussie Aussie sun
Let’s go do something really really fun
Let’s take a trip ’n enjoy the Aussie Aussie sun
Arvo
Banger
Sheila
Dunny
Slip, slop, slap
Hard yakka
Chuck a sickie
I want to eat five Australian meat pies!
Who’s going to change your diapers? Not this guy.
I want to see Uluru! Soon!
I am so happy for you.
I want to see Daniel Riccardo’s nose!
You could see that thing from Pluto
We both want to go to Oz!
Will you two stop making such a fuss?
Let’s go do something really really fun
Let’s take a trip ’n enjoy the Aussie Aussie sun
Let’s go do something really really fun
Let’s take a trip ’n enjoy the Aussie Aussie sun
4. AFTERBURNER
6 a.m. writing rhymes again
But history essay due period 2 half past ten
Out of bed now but mind paralyzed
Need something to re-energize
Zombie march to the coffee machine
Quarantine brain soak it in caffeine
Guate beans double latte / start twitchin like pre-blow Pompei
I light the keyboard candle soon be Thin Lignin Hemingway Hey DJ
That’s DJ Jebediah Ironwood and Grandpa to you!
Need a little hit of liquid afterburner
Need something something take me a little bit further
Need a little hit of liquid afterburner
Need something something take me a little bit further
Yo
I take my juice box straight jack, fancy flavor wack
Need the energy homies got mega plastic bricks to stack
Here it comes – naptime over
Some fool clockin’ my RC range rover bro I ain’t no pushover
If I’m dragging and need an little boost
I chase my oatmeal cookies with the finest the apple juice
And then it’s nap time back in rotation
Step off with your bougie bean roast, fancy grind ‘n charcoal filtration – Thin
Need a little hit of liquid afterburner
Need something something take me a little bit further
Need a little hit of liquid afterburner
Need something something take me a little bit further
Yo Big stop telling your children’s stories
You’re a tad too tiny for conflict you spinning just an allegory
Keep a lid on it bro -damage to my rep is something I can’t afford
My profile is already thin enough without you planing off more
You two rap nice or no ice cream for dessert!
Instead of something sweet you can always have liverwurst
You’re too young to know which drink rules the roost
The true nectar of the gods is right here – 100% prune juice!
Ewww Grandpa that’s gross
How can I show my face at daycare when they find out you ended the song on prune juice?
I’m going to have to hide in my locker when I get to school. Thanks Grandpa
5. CHEWBARKER
Hey Chewbarker! Fool what a tree ever do to you?
Chewing on bark that quite a bit worse than rude.
C’mon Chewbarker you know the rule of law
Now WU D3 TREE involved.
Even trees can clap back with comeback
Listen you hairy artifact you wanna risk contact?
Contact maybe not in a physical way
but we see you on a cloud city promenade
Your Millenium falcon parking permit mislaid
From there we may have to escalate
You chew bark we shoot verbal darts
Smoother than H Bogart
Make sure you got enough street smarts
If you get into it with a hungry toddler upstart
Grooming your fur must be a project
Stop nibbling wood or you have to worry about the prospect
Of your beard trimmer wack
Accidentally on purpose falling off the sail barge into the sarlacc!
Chewbarker time for your departure
Hit the hyperdrive don’t forget your incisors
Chewbarker time for your departure
Hit the hyperdrive don’t forget – your incisors
Boys. You’re mistaken. I think you need to know his name actually is…
C’mon Grandpa don’t interrupt us in the middle of a dis
Chew you not so smooth
Fool we know you run with a crew
We got it but your main man Solo prove
Softer than a bougie Shih Tzu
You two did the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs?
Yeah here that don’t get you respect
In the woods you learn it’s integrity and intellect
To which the Wu D genuflect
Avert your eyes and apologize as you back out
Till then we stay Crocket and Tubbs on the stakeout
We know Luke it’s moot he see us and scoot
And Obi Wan and done that’s the truth
My patience running like my name – Thin
Don’t come around our forest again
You and your crew no match for this lumber
Stepping to us would be a blunder
Chewbarker time for your departure
Hit the hyperdrive don’t forget your incisors
Chewbarker time for your departure
Hit the hyperdrive don’t forget – your incisors
Boys! It’s not Chewbarker it’s Chewba-
Cmon stick to DJing Grandpa!
Wookie one last verse from our part of the universe
Before you back out the falcon in reverse
Be careful stunting on your crossbow
We know aspen who know Aikido they do you like Sideways did Merlot
Boys I think there’s been a misunderstanding
It’s false justice you demanding
Listen its chew but it’s -bacca not -barker
You wanna beef it’s woodpeckers you should be after
He doesn’t chew on bark? My word art missed the mark?
I didn’t Joe Carter hit rhymes out of the ballpark?
He might get HR involved
Or he lawyer up to get this problem solved
Big and I can’t afford legal representation
Prolongation of this situation
Will add wookie complications
I don’t wanna end up in carbonite hibernation!
Chewbarker we are a little bit unsure
If we were correct about we said you did with your incisors
Chewbarker we are a little bit unsure
If we were correct about we said you did with your incisors
6. SUSHI! SUSHI! PLEASE MORE!
One two three four
This the groove you looking for?
Five six seven eight
Story about food we ate
Making rap at Grandpa’s again
Working on the first album
Rolling around to dinner time
Grandpa has an idea – sublime
Strip mall down the block
One restaurant in particular rocks
Grandpa orders food to go
But it’s taking too long – they’re so slow
Got the food dip to the crib
All the food I call dibs
Sorry bro it don’t work like that
Someone get the chopsticks – stat
I’m so hungry
Oh me too
Rarrhh!
My stomach is making noise
I’m so hungry!
Sushi! Sushi! please more
Sushi! Sushi! one more
Sushi! Sushi! please more
Sushi! Sushi! one more
Atten-hut! Prepare for sushi!
Yes!
Chopticks about face!
Commence eating!
Can you pass the soya sauce please. Thank you
Sushi! Sushi! please more
Sushi! Sushi! one more
Sushi! Sushi! please more
Sushi! Sushi! one more
Where’s the rest of the sushi?
This sushi has to last me until naptime
Are we out of sushi grandpa?
I need more sushi
What’s going on?
Grandpa this is a crime!
Will you two quiet down?
That must be the sushi delivery I ordered. I figured you might want more. Anything to say?
Thank you
Round two bring it on
Sushi research has begun!
Nigiri maki temaki uramaki!
Sushi great pronunciation hacky
Yup
Sushi culture appreciate
And plates of sushi decimate
Better rhymes please formulate
Oh last salmon piece – checkmate
That big tuna is mine homes
Anyone touch that tako it’s on
Any respect for the elderly?
This is sushi same rules as the streets
Then maybe next time I order just for me
Oh Grandpa have this shrimp sushi please!
You two behave or next time your sushi might get cursed
Like this! Abracadra this sushi absurd!
It’s sushi cursed absurd! But I’ll eat it!
Hey: Rock scissors paper!
One two three go!
Muhahahaha!
Oh….
Sushi! Sushi! please more
Sushi! Sushi! one more
Sushi! Sushi! please more
Sushi! Sushi! one more
Um ah Grandpa garcon. The dessert menu please?
I’ll have a Machu Picchu tiramisu
There’s no such thing as a Machu Picchu tiramisu
We tricked you Grandpa! Huhuhuhuhu!
Go brush your teeth!
Ohhhhh…
7. CONAN NEEDS A BAN
Hello Team Loco OH MY GOD my leather jacket is like so awesome!
My name is Thin Lignin. I am here with my brother Big O Dendro
Yo
And we would like to talk to Conan Obrien.
He’s busy polishing his trophies. And, like, his ego
Can we leave a message? We have a complaint about Conan’s behaviour.
You want me to, like, take a message? Sorry dude. I’m Conan’s assistant but I don’t do that kind of work. Or any work
Is there someone else I can talk to? Is Gorley there?
Gorley is busy recording an underwater podcast on the mating patterns of left-handed manatees. You guys are, like, so boring. Good bye!
She hung up on us!
Yo Thin we just got punked!
Conan’s not getting away with this!
Conan is a monster
He’s an evil lumber hunter
Enemy of the forest
He hates plants so much he nibbles on florists
On Conan’s late night TV show
Martial arts master Fred Simmons out of control
Smashed boards in a demonstration
Hate crime against the lumber nation
Earth people rise up
Conan must be stopped
Justice we all demand
Conan needs a ban
Fred Simmons appeared on Conan’s show on February 26 2008
Also appearing on that episode were Will Ferrel and Aubrey Plaza
Andy Richter? You know him? Pretty nice guy. I heard he volunteers at a shelter for wayward sawdust
The drummer Max Weinberg? He treats his wooden drumsticks with the utmost respect
Robert Smigel collects colonial furniture and only uses the best wood polish
Those boards were family
Maimed in senseless tragedy
To satisfy Conan’s depraved craving
His soul is beyond saving
We demand retribution
A life sentence the only solution
We refuse to be oppressed
It is time Conan you must confess!
Earth people rise up
Conan must be stopped
Justice we all demand
Conan needs a ban!
I am quite sure other current or former late night show hosts do not have the same disregard for the plight of wood as Conan.
To be honest it seems like something quite in character for him
If you have seen any of his “comedy” you probably understand exactly what kind of a person he is
If you do come into contact with Conan contact law enforcement immediately especially if you are a wood-based organism
Conan we know you can hear us
Your punishment will be just!
There is no place you can escape
We’ll scour the entire landscape
Call your lawyer immediately
And then surrender to the trees
If you choose to resist our legal authority.
We’ll put you in a cell with Jordan Schlansky!
MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
We’re watching you Conan
Be good to the wood Conan
8. TOO SMOOTH OPERATORS
Carlos Sainz smooth operator
Handsome Spanish heat generator
I’m a simple spectator
A frustrated lower formula third rater
Mr. Carlos Sainz you smooth!
Mr. Lewis Hamilton you smooth!
Mr. Kimi Antonelli you smooth!
I wanna be smooth too!
Lewis Hamilton’s job I drool
Blasting past Tabac and swimming pool
Fashionable cool trophies fill ballroom
I hang out in forests with toadstools
Toto Wolf tight tailored shirt
Andrew Benson gets all the dirt
Bottas slides out the rear
Alonso 130R has no fear
Hulk and his podium at Silvertone
David Coulthard’s trigonometric jawbone
Bernie Collins has F1 pedigree
Ayao Komatsu knows how to succeed
Mr. Carlos Sainz you smooth!
Mr. Lewis Hamilton you smooth!
Mr. Kimi Antonelli you smooth!
I wanna be smooth too!
Kimi Antonelli passes brave and bold
Ambition hotter than engine manifold
Cute Italiano proud ‘n homegrown
I’m not even a woodworking magazine centerfold
Tom Clarkson rocks the mic
Gasly and Ocon on track fights
Hannah Schmitz has Max’s strategies (Isaac’s too)
Liam Lawson an elite athlete
Yeah we haven’t mentioned everyone
A hip hopper’s work is never done
Sorry Lando and Oscar you’re feeling a bit wronged
You’ll have to wait for the next song
Growing jealousy and forest dissent
Increasing wood discontent
It is time for our smooth ascent
This may become an inshident
9. ABT (ADVANCED BEARD TECHNOLOGY)
David Letterman. I’m writing to you again
Please lend me your advanced beard technology. I’m nearing a dead end
My cheeks smooth as Paul Shaffer’s head
I’ll pay you a monthly 5 acorn stipend
Too much
No facial hair – demonstrably unfair
No facial hair – je ne suis pas debonairre
No facial hair – demonstrably unfair
No facial hair – je ne suis pas debonairre
If I just had even enough whiskers for a little moustache
I’m not asking for a whole bunch of whiskers
C’mon
Hey Morgan Freeman! Share your advanced beard technology with me. Ya!
I’m in high school already. But my face is bare. Can’t you see?
Even my little brother has a goatee – the little pipsqueak (Heh heh heh heh)
Hey Mr. Freeman! If you don’t share your beard tips I’ll be peeved
No facial hair – demonstrably unfair
No facial hair – je ne suis pas debonairre
No facial hair – demonstrably unfair
No facial hair – je ne suis pas debonairre
Mr. Confucious! I hope your day has been auspicious
I seek your wisdom on a beard-related matter that is very serious
Mr. Confucius! I read your Analects from beginning to end
When you grew your beard did you get – a girlfriend?
10. CHIPS! CHIPS! CHIPS! CHIPS!
Boys we got news! Milos at the General Store got a delivery of chips today!
Chips?
Potato chips?
Yes!
Then go get those chips Grandpa!
Grandpa on a trip for chips fully completely commit
Double check chips could be may be counterfeit
Knit outfit made in ‘50 cane walk with a limp
But no big daddy call him or us a wimp
Exploitation at destination but he can’t resist temptation
But his turn for predation they burn in frustration (Coupon!)
Blue chips red chips yellow green sour cream yo whatever
Just need a little taste of the chip chip flavor
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
Your chips go missing you know who the culprit
Grandpa breaks for home but he’s feeling- he’s maybe not alone
But he creep strong ‘n steady metal metronome
Bust through the door Thin and I T-Rex Roar
Chips on the table not waiting no more
Sampling Jalapeno cheddar spitting hot fire
Thin down dill pickle his tongue going haywire
Having issues with my lingual epidermal
I think I need a widdle drink to get back to normal
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
Your chips go missing you know who the culprit
The last bag of chips boys. Some new flavor called “Apocalypse wasabi.” But I should warn you that they’re very spicy
Time to hit those chips!
Yes. I concur
Grandpa these chips are a..
A little hot
What’s going on grandpa?
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
More more more more! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
Your chips go missing you know who the culprit
11. TICKLE TOES THAILAND
You all knows
Feets and toes
You all knows
Feets and toes
Part time job evenings and weekends
Working the gate at the local drive in
Need some spending money even trees have needs
Some of us have big dreams I want a mountain bike 11 speed
A few aches in my feets and toes
Grandpa recommend epsom salt soaks
Feet easy to bruise when you don’t wear shoes
Some day I want to escape to
Tickle Toes Thailand
Foot massages across the land
Tickle Toes Thailand
Foot massages on demand
Friday daycare cruel nightmare
Stubbed my toe on the potty chair
And someone dropped their paper mache
On my foot-it throbbed the whole day
After lunch got a cramp in my other foot
Plans for dodgeball and kickball kaput
Thought my pain and suffering justified an extra juice box
But teacher-man said no go try your luck in
Tickle Toes Thailand
Foot massages across the land
Tickle Toes Thailand
Foot massages on demand
My dogs have been barking since ‘78
Took to the dance floor to show I can gyrate
Since then them cracks in my heel
Also bunions and corns making moving trey difficile
Spent decades in harsh -boreal forests
Basic foot care offers little solace
I need to go to a foot massage Xanadu
I need I need I need to go to
Tickle Toes Thailand
Foot massages across the land
Tickle Toes Thailand
Foot massages on demand
Tickle Toes Thailand
Foot massages on demand